Somewhere in between the days of December 12 and December 15 I woke up in a homeless shelter. If you haven't noticed I'm usually pretty good with dates, but when a mixture of benzos, heroin and cocaine come into play, it all starts to blur.

To start the story off right I need to begin when I woke up on December 12, 2013. I got out of bed my usual 10:30am time. I got a call from a friend saying she needed money for dope and had Xanax to sell. Me, I'm supposed to be clean, even though I wasn't, I tell her I need to buy some. I gather money in ways I don't feel comfortable explaining and have her pick me up. Once I swallowed the first 3 pills I new a blackout was soon to follow. I gave them some time to kick in then went and picked up a few bags of both heroin and crack. I spend my day indulging in my sickness but make sure to save one bag for the morning. If you're an addict you know that didn't happen. I got home that night and and waited for my ex-girlfriend to pick me up. Well, she never showed so I set off on what would be an adventure in itself. Blurred vision and slurred speach I stumbled out onto the streets of Rockford. I make it a half of a block away when I found a bus stop shelter. I sat down in there and took my jacket off. The next thing I remember was being kicked by a stranger asking if I'm alive. I get off the frozen concrete and tell him I must have fallen asleep. Walking away I noticed I had the needle still sticking out of my arm. I often wonder what that person thought walking away. I don't even know if it was a man or woman. All I knew was that I had a tripple vision going on and I remember distinctly thinking how weird it was that I couldn't remember my name or where I lived. I walked downtown Rockford for an hour or so and then remembered how to get home. When I got back I poured a glass of milk that I later poured all over myself. The next thing I remember was waking up in a homeless shelter. Only I didn't know where I was. The shelter was kinda set up like the immigration camps in the beginning of the movie Scareface. Only no one was chanting "LIBERTAD LIBERTAD". But there were stabbings. That was a joke, kinda. The thing that happens next still makes me sad. I remember laughing because I knew what Bradley Nowell was going through when he wrote 'What Happened'. If you know that song you'll understand.

So there's a second part to this story that I will write later tonite maybe. It's just as depressing as this but there is a positive spin that happens the next night.

MORE TO COME OF MY STRUGGLES WITH ADDICTION AND LIFE